Until We Have Faces
by Chiisarin
Summary: Penelo didn't want to be taking care of Reks' murderer, but a favour is a favour. Three-shot attempt at Penelo/Gabranth.
1. Chapter 1

1. here and eternity

Later, Penelo promises herself. Later, she will agonize the question of how the _hell _her life got into this situation. Later, she will curse herself for being unable to say 'no' to a friend, for being too damn _soft-hearted _for her own good. Later, she'll wonder about the gods' sense of humour, later she'll consider killing herself or even _that damn man_, but she'll do it _later_. As in, not now Penelo.

Right now, she has a promise to keep.

And so she steels herself, taking a deep resounding breath, and before she can lose her nerve she takes hold of the door knob and _opens._

For a moment, she's not even sure he's there.

But the moment passes, and _of course _he's there. _Of course_ he's there; were else did he have to go? And she just stands there, can't help but letting the smallest spark of pity sweep through here. What must it be like to be forced to put down your sword, to abandon the one you have sworn to protect? What must it be like to have to come to a foreign city, to be under the care of a near stranger? But that's all the sympathy she can seem to summon for him; the rest of her is just plain dead and cold.

Gabranth turns to face her, and as usual, it's as if his face of stone, stone carved into a countenance of a man who has lost everything. Better than the moping, Penelo notes, recalling how not too many days ago, he would instead refuse to eat nothing in an attempt to waste his life away into nothing and die an easy death. It had not been a pleasant experience to have to Immobilize the man and force feed him. Even now, she can still remember the look in his eyes as she did so, ice-blue daggers piercing into hers, and just full of some emotion of which she could only barely associate with anger and maybe something else.

"Unfortunately, the world still needs you," Penelo had spat out. "Basch can't take your place forever; Ashe needs him and Larsa needs _you_."

However, it was obvious to the both of them that she didn't mean a word she said.

And she still doesn't. But at least he started to eat after that.

She sets down a simple breakfast of potatoes and eggs in front of Gabranth. It wasn't that much, she knows, but she wasn't going to go through the trouble of attempting to get anything better. Though Basch had attempted to compensate her for what she was doing for him, Penelo had turned him down and told him she was fine, she wasn't _that _poor that she couldn't afford to take care of another person.

"But I must repay you somehow," Basch had insisted. Penelo waved it off.

"Just take good care of Larsa."

And when he promised her he would, the look of gratitude shining from his face was so bright that it had surprised Penelo, for she couldn't recall any other time when Basch had ever looked so relieved.

However, he never said anything about having to like the guy.

"Thank you," Gabranth politely murmurs. Penelo says nothing. She doesn't need his thanks.

"I'm going to work now; I'll be back around noon or so for your healing session. If you need anything, just ask Vaan; he's next door. If it's an emergency, you can find me in the Muthru Bazaar."

It's a redundant speech; Gabranth has far too much pride to ask for anything and they both know that he won't be leaving the apartment anytime soon.

—

"_So even though he will live…you are saying his legs are paralyzed?"_

_Penelo nods, casting a sidelong glance at the sleeping glance. "Yes. He was still healing from the battle on the Ridorana coast and then add his wounds from the other battle with us. In his condition, he shouldn't have been running around against Vayne; in doing so, he has damaged the nerve tissue in his legs to the point that he has become unable to control them."_

_Basch sits down and he wraps his head around this new information, his face a complicated mess of convoluted emotions that Penelo was never good at reading anyway. She sits down on the seat across from him and waits patiently for whatever conclusion he comes to._

"_So that's why he asked me to protect Larsa," She can hear him quietly say to himself, bitter epiphany colouring his voice. _

_Penelo pauses, hesitant. Then:_

"_You know…I think I can heal him."_

_She isn't sure if she should have said that. Not only was she one not in the habit of giving what might possibly be false hope, but she didn't want this responsibility. She didn't want to be saddled with this—this—murderer, this monster that had cold-heartedly slaughtered Reks. She knows it's an irrational anger, especially since the said events happened during times of war, but that doesn't stop her from thinking it._

_But she quickly forces herself to swallow her feelings when she sees Basch look up, and she can see he's struggling to contain his emotions, attempting to keep a calm and level face. His voice is slightly rough, hoarse. "Can you?"_

_Penelo bites her lip, but continues to talk anyway. "Well…it'd take quite a few months or so… Healing nerve damage is very much a slow and fragile process. Not only that but I'd have to do some research to learn about the finer points of repairing an injury this extreme." _

_He doesn't want to push her into doing this, she notices, yet the hope is too obvious to hide, it's too open and vulnerable and it's making her uncomfortable, because Basch isn't one to be like this. Maybe he somehow blames himself, and though Penelo can't see how he would, it would be very much like Basch. And he would carry this regret, another heavy burden of which he would have to retrain his shoulders to hold, and though Penelo knows he would survive (because he always does), she doesn't want to see him that. She wouldn't want to put Basch through that, if she could do something._

"_Basch…I'll do it. Just leave him with me in Rabanastre."_

—

"So, er, how is he?"

Ever since their return to Rabanastre, Vaan had not visited Penelo's apartment even once. Instead, he always goes to catch up with her after her performances and Penelo preferred it that way. She'd rather keep Gabranth her problem and hers alone.

"Well, I finally got through the texts Larsa sent to me, so I today I'm thinking about actually starting regenerating the nerves in his legs." Seeing his confused look, she goes on. "In other words, he should be able to regain feeling in his legs within a week," Penelo summarizes. She could go on, but knowing Vaan, he'd tune her out rather quickly.

"Oh. That's good." There is an awkward moment of silence. "You know, if you ever need me over there, I could take some time off…"

Penelo shoves him before he can finish the offer. The mood of the conversation has gotten too untouchable and she needs to break it up before it gets any worse.

"Noooo _thanks_." She emphasizes, a smile spreading on her face as she sees Vaan stumble a bit from her push. "I'd rather you stay at your job. You still need to pay me back for all of those times…"

Vaan looks at her with alarm. "Tha-that's a bit much, doncha think?"

"No, I think it's actually kind of fitting payback for all the times you mooched off me."

—

When Penelo gets back, she's surprised to find three letters shoved under her door as opposed to the one she usually expects. One from Larsa and—she pauses—the other two were blank, without a return address. Flipping them over, she sees that they're all addressed to her, except for one to a _Noah_—Oh. Basch had sent them letters.

After she drops her bag on the couch, she goes into Gabranth's room to find him gazing out the window silently. As usual, it's as if he has never moved, despite the crutches she has placed beside the table (courtesy of Vaan and an accident he had when he was twelve). But she can smell that scent of a showered person, her lavender shampoo filling up the empty room; she can see his beard was recently shaven and cropped and his hair is still slightly damp. She sometimes wonders how he's able to do it (she'd offered to have Vaan help him, but of course, he had refused), but then again, there are a great many lengths men, especially this one, would go to keep even one scrap of pride.

Walking up to him, she puts the letter on the table where he can see it. His eyes flicker to her briefly before going to the letter, but she doesn't explain. "I'm going to change and relax for a bit before I get started on you. I'll be back in twenty minutes or so."

"Thank you."

Penelo just nods and walks out of the room. That was all he ever said to her nowadays, that quiet and short 'thank you'. Maybe it'll stay that way forever, Penelo ponders. Would it be so bad?

But it's too much trouble to think about stuff like that, so instead she just takes up her letters as she flops onto the couch.

Larsa's letter is the same as always: He's still adjusting to the duties of emperor, especially with having to deal with the Senate and establishing diplomatic relations with all of the new independent territories that had emerged after the Empire fell apart. Even yet, within all his descriptions of politics, he still manages to include stories of how he sometimes escapes the palace to explore Archadia, and she can't help but giggle at how he describes being mistaken for a girl for umptheenth time feels. Even when she finishes it, she finds herself rereading it a bit, letting the smile linger on her face. Larsa's letters always seemed to make her happy and she wouldn't give up her friendship with him for anything in the world.

However, her eyes then catch sight of a small postscript added at the end: _Tell me how Gabranth is_.

That's right, Penelo remembers. Gabranth had been Larsa's guardian and had been willing to risk his life just to protect the young lord, and had, in fact, nearly died for it. She draws out a sigh. _This_ is why she's just going to keep their relationship professional and distant—getting emotions tangled in it would make her job far too complicated. She'd heal him and be polite, but that's all.

Penelo takes a lingering glance at Basch's letter, but somehow, she doesn't want to read it right now. She pushes herself up and brings herself to get up. It's time to do what she came here to do.

It is quite the silent process as Penelo attempts to revive the dead nerves of Gabranth's foot, her hands brushing over the skin as she pushes her magic into stimulating the cells back to life. Her eyes are closed as she tries to remember and follow what the texts had said, just concentrating and focusing on healing this one foot, because somehow, it's the whole world rests on this one moment. This is the moment where she'll find if she was lying when she told Basch she could heal, this is the moment where she'll see if she can keep her promises, this is the moment that will somehow change everything.

And in that one moment, it's done.

She takes a deep breath as stops the flow of magic. She had done what the book had said to do, and if this didn't work…

Penelo glances up at him, the look on Gabranth's face unreadable. "Can you feel…?"

In the few seconds he doesn't answer, for some reason, she feels scared beyond reason. She wants to believe that she's a good healer, she wants to believe that she didn't fail, that she can _do it_ and if he says no then—then—

"I can feel it."

It takes a few moments for it to sink in, but when it does, she can't help but let the smile break across her face as her body sags out the tension she had been feeling. There was just such a _relish _in this victory, to think that she actually had been to do it, that she succeeded—it was enough for her to make her want to giggle and laugh as she did a victory dance.

She stands up, sore from having been seated for so long and streches a bit. "Tomorrow I'll start your other foot. Maybe in a week, you'll get feeling completely back in both legs."

"Do not push yourself."

Penelo's gaze immediately snaps to Gabranth's ice-cold one, startled, confused, perplexed. (Her heart skipped a beat.) _Why_…? Not only had he said something other than his usual, unfeeling 'thank you', but was it almost—couldn't be—_concern_? From _him?_

"It would not be fit, should you overexert yourself. Do not overestimate yourself." And although his face is rather emotionless as he says this, he somehow had this way of making his voice sneer oh so subtly, a quality that had always bugged Penelo ever the group had first encountered Gabranth.

"I think I know my limits," Penelo snaps back, letting out a little venom in her voice then she had meant to. When he merely says nothing, his gaze still upon her, she decides to just turn around and leave before she lets her anger get the better of her.

But once again, he's calling out to here again: "Why do you hate me so?"

Penelo stops, wondering why he's so chatty today, wondering if she should answer this, and if she did, _how _she would answer this. She could just imagine herself returning that sneer of his, going, "Oh let me count the ways…" But no, she would not do that, she didn't want to become that type of person. She had promised herself a professional distance, don't let the emotions get in. She doesn't turn around.

Gabranth continues talking, mock tiredness colouring his wry voice, as if he had gone through this conversation oh too many times before. "Or rather, who did I kill?"

Silence.

"My brother."

She's not going to tell him that Reks was more than a foster brother, more than a friend, just _so much more _than that, for that is a secret that even Vaan doesn't know about, these are memories and thoughts that'd she will keep to herself until death.

She walks out, and this time, Gabranth says nothing.

Even though she wasn't expecting an apology, it still stings a bit when she doesn't get one.

—

**Thanks for reading. **


	2. Chapter 2

2. perception and concepts

And that's when Penelo starts to avoid him. She had promised herself that she wouldn't allow her emotions get the better of her, but somehow, it was more than just petty emotions, it was _loathing, _it was irritation, frustration, annoyance all into one package of just plain pure _hate_, and if she ever lost control, she's not sure what she might do; frankly, she's not sure she cares. So instead, she just keeps her distance, only coming into his room to bring him food or heal him. She says not a word, and he not one to her. The only time he had talked was to ask for paper and pen as to write back to Basch, and other then that, there was nothing.

No, Gabranth would only look at her in silence, and though Penelo would try to avoid his gaze, there were times when she'd look up to for a moment to catch him staring at her, just staring, his mouth set in a frown as if mulling over something very deep. She wasn't sure what had changed, but _something _had and she wasn't sure she wanted to know what.

—

Not only it is unusual for someone to be knocking on her door this early, or rather, for anyone to be knocking on her door at all (That's right, ladies and gentlemen! Penelo is single! Shout it out to the masses!), but she finds herself rather surprised when she finds out _who _is at her door.

"Vaan!" Penelo gasps, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

Vaan crosses his arms, eyes suspiciously glancing over Penelo's shoulder, as if Gabranth were to magically appear at any second should Vaan let down his guard for even a second. Then, Vaan looks back to a Penelo, an awkward but still cheerful smile forming on his face. "Well, it's tradition, isn't it?"

For a moment, Penelo is touched by Vaan's gesture, to have actually come over, despite an unfavourable guest, and well—pick her up, as if nothing was different. (Should she have expected any different?)

But before Penelo can go on with her moment of shock, Vaan's voice shakes her out of her thoughts. "You didn't forget, did you?"

Penelo rolls her eyes, while letting a smile stretch her face. "Of course not, silly. Give me a moment, will you?"

And within moments, she has taken some food off the table, picked up a blanket, and has slipped on her shoes. For a moment, Penelo considers going to drop off some meal to Gabranth, but quickly crosses that thought out. His legs had been restored for more than a week now. Though still weak, and unable to bear too much strain, she knew he could still go to the kitchen easily enough, should he be hungry. She quickly jogs back to Vaan, who is still standing by the door, looking slightly uncomfortable as his eyes dart around the place. She wonders if he finds anything different or odd about the place.

"C'mon Vaan, let's go." She says, tugging his arm as she leaves.

Then again, she will realize later, maybe she shouldn't be so surprised. Why wouldn't Vaan have come? Why should anything have changed?

After all, it was the day Reks had died.

—

And it's somewhat of a relief, to find that things are as they always were. Like always, they visit the flower shop to pick up a bouquet of Galbana lilies before going to Reks' grave. Spreading out Penelo's blanket there, they then have their own banquet, with food provided by Vaan (or rather, Vaan after begging and telling Migelo he'd owe him some favours, like always). It's the same as always, and although after each year, it's becomes a little easier to smile, it's still hard all the same. Like always, they tell Reks of the past year, with Vaan usually exaggerating everything while Penelo attempts to interject the truth every once in a while. They play a rather messed up version of Truth or Dare, with the dares being somewhat limited and the truths being somewhat lame since they already know so much about each other (though Penelo did refuse to answer when Vaan asked if she had gotten a crush on anyone while they were out adventuring, making him assume that she had fallen in love with Larsa. She retaliated by asking Vaan if he had a crush on Ashe.)

But then the sun sets, and Penelo stands up, saying she should go home. Vaan just nods. They both know that as soon as they get home, that'll be when they allow themselves to break down, for today is the only day they will allow themselves to. Time may heal wounds, but two years is only so much time, and the scars still seem to hurt.

And when she gets home, she takes out her picture of Reks and sets one Galbana lily on it.

"Hey Reks," She murmurs softly. "Two years already."

She swallows the lump in her throat and takes a deep breath. "Weird how life goes on, huh? To think that Vaan and I would go on such an adventure; meeting sky pirates, dead people, and hey, even met the princess, Ashe—well, she's a queen now. I'm even close friends with Archadia's emperor! We write each other letters often."

Penelo can remember when the picture was taken; it had been Reks 17th birthday. While Penelo had just made a wreath of flowers (which Reks had worn graciously), Vaan on the other hand, had wanted to do something special. Unfortunately, Vaan had also taken Reks seriously when Reks had replied, after hours and hours of constant pestering, that the thing he wanted most for his birthday was a girlfriend (she had been secretly thrilled to fulfill the role).

"And look, here am I now." _Taking care of your murderer_.

But she doesn't say those words, because it's not fair of her. So instead, she just goes on with, "Sometimes, I wish I could just let you go…"

"Nay, 'tis a foolish notion to think."

Penelo jumps, her heart stopping at the sound of Gabranth's voice. _How long had he been there—how much had he heard_? But she dare not move, to turn and face him, she dare not look into his eyes, because she is scared of what she might see in his eyes—or what he might see in hers.

She can hear his footsteps approaching her until he is beside her, and she watches carefully from the corner of her eye, cautiously as his gaze lingers on the picture.

"The dead will always stay in your memories," He continues, and his voice is not gentle, but rather harsh like steel; Penelo can only wonder who he must have lost. "Instead, we must hold on as tightly as we can and try to keep going as we must."

She's not sure what made her ask, but her mouth is moving before she can even contemplate her actions and she is letting out a hesitant, "Why?"

"Because then we have reason to live."

And he gets up and goes, gone as quickly as he had come, leaving Penelo to only stare at the empty space he once occupied, the sound of silence ringing in her ears. For although she knows his words were not meant to be comforting—

(She quickly rubs her eyes.)

—somehow, they are.

And then she catches sight of an unopened, forgotten letter.

_—_

_Dear Penelo,_

_Despite your clear insistence that you receive no payment in return for this treatment, I still nonetheless feel obliged..._

_—_

**Thanks for reading.**


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